Addiction Doesn’t Appear Out of Nowhere

In light of the Icelandic Television Awards, I want to share an excerpt from my autoethnographic essays in creative writing, where I reflected, among other things, on Húsó (The School of Housewives), a project based on my own experience as a student at the school after completing rehab.

Screenshot from an Instagram story I posted while a student at the school (@dorajohanns – highlights: Húsó)

Caption: “Woops! Stopped partying but accidentally made myself a party dress…”

It’s deeply important to me to shed light on the systemic issues behind the story of Húsó – problems that affect us all in one way or another, while also emphasizing the importance of giving space to marginalized voices.

By telling positive stories of recovery, we offer hope to those still suffering. People need role models and examples to believe that healing and change are even possible.

According to the Icelandic National Audit Office, the Ministry of Health still has no clear policy or action plan for addressing addiction. Every year, countless people die due to the lack of support and treatment options – many long before their time.

Research shows that addiction is directly linked to social factors.

Dr. Gabor Maté, one of the world’s leading experts on addiction, has said that prevailing misconceptions about addiction fuel prejudice and marginalization. He emphasizes that addiction is not a choice, as many still believe, but a response to suffering.

Addiction always originates in pain, whether visible or buried in the subconscious.

Its roots often lie in trauma, stress, and social disconnection – conditions that flourish where inequality and injustice are systemic (Maté).

Difficult life experiences do not necessarily become trauma. Whether they do depends on the support a person receives and whether their experiences are acknowledged while they are processing them. Without validation and care, people are far more likely to develop mental or physical health problems later on.

As trauma specialist Peter Levine has said:

“Trauma is not what happens to us, but what we hold inside in the absence of an empathetic witness.”

This explains why two people can go through the same hardship, yet only one develops post-traumatic stress symptoms.

Addiction can involve any number of substances, but also people, thoughts, or behaviors. All addictions activate the same regions of the brain and release the same neurochemicals (Maté).

Addictive behavior is like placing a toxic bandage over a deep wound. It may soothe the pain for a moment, but the wound beneath can never truly heal.

In Dopamine Nation, psychologist Anna Lembke writes that the modern world has become an ecosystem of addiction. She even shares her own experience of becoming addicted to romantic love stories.

She defines addiction as a repeated behavioral pattern of seeking short-term pleasure despite long-term harm to oneself or others.

Almost anything can become addictive: smartphones, social media, money, gaming, pornography, sex, shopping, exercise, work, validation, relationships – and more.

At its core, addiction is a survival mechanism. It’s a coping strategy, an attempt to solve a problem, even if unconsciously.

We try to numb our feelings and avoid reality, either through substances that bring instant gratification or behaviors that trigger the same chemical rewards in the brain.

When we struggle with addiction or loss of control in any area of life, it becomes impossible to be truly present. We disconnect, from ourselves and from others.

As author Johann Hari wrote:

“The opposite of addiction is not sobriety, it is connection.”

Anna Lembke emphasizes honesty as a path out of addiction. Telling the truth, to ourselves and to others, is the first step out of denial, which is what keeps addiction alive, whatever form it takes.

Many people stay in denial about things too painful to face. Denial, too, is not a choice. It’s protection from emotions we fear we won’t survive feeling.

Recovery requires immense courage – the courage to face the unknown and confront pain directly.

To become not only physically but also emotionally sober, people must replace harmful thoughts and behaviors with healthy coping mechanisms.

In recovery, we reconnect, with ourselves, our bodies, our surroundings, and we begin to form healthy, nurturing relationships. Healing requires that the emotions trapped in the nervous system be allowed to surface, to be processed and released.

True recovery means taking responsibility. Gradually, we can reframe painful events from the past into something meaningful by sharing our experience, strength, and hope with others — by being present and of service.

Healthy coping mechanisms act like a healing bandage, allowing wounds to finally close.

When we have the courage to face our own truth, even when it’s painful, we create space for genuine connection with ourselves, our surroundings, and one another.

Honesty is ultimately what sets us free.

“Recovery from trauma is not about erasing the past; it is about reclaiming our power and rewriting our future.” – Peter Levine

(Note: This is the English translation of an essay first published in Icelandic on October 30th, 2025.)

References:

Hari, J. (2015). Chasing the Scream: The first and last days of the war on drugs. Bloomsbury.

Lembke, A. (2021). Dopamine Nation: Finding Balance in the Age of Indulgence. Dutton.

Levine, P. (e.d). „About Dr. Levine.“ Ergos Institute of Somatic Education. Sótt á https://www.somaticexperiencing.com/about-peter

Mate, G. (2022). The Myth of Normal. Trauma, Illness and Healing in a Toxic Culture. London: Penguin Random House.

Ríkisendurskoðun. (2024). „Ópíóðavandi – staða, stefna og úrræði (hraðaúttekt)." 20. mars. https://www.rikisend.is/skyrslur/nanar.